On The Road to Singapore

We arrived in beautiful Singapore expecting a tightly-controlled, pristine city that boggled the mind and we weren’t disappointed. The headline in the Singapore newspaper boasted that the city-state’s first quarter (not annual, but quarterly) financial growth was a staggering 13% this year. And looking around you can see why: everywhere you look you see high-quality construction projects nearly completed. The city is extremely crowded yet everything seems to work. It’s like Disneyland in the summertime: lots of people, but it’s so well-run that things move quickly and the place is clean and comfortable. We did some of the usual things—went to the renowned Raffles Hotel to see where the original Singapore Sling drink was invented (but at $25 US a pop, we decided we didn’t need a sickly sweet cocktail at 11am), then we wandered around and found the new casino hotel they’re building on the waterfront (a casino in straight-laced Singapore? Amazing, but money’s money and they are tired of tourists and convention-goers not coming to Singapore because there’s no gambling). We saw the war monument and the incredible opera house (which is dubbed “The Giant Durian” because of its shape. That’s a dig, because the durian is that powerfully stinky fruit that smells like a corpse rotting and is unlawful to carry on public transportation). Actually, there’s a ton of stuff that’s illegal here. You’ve probably heard it’s illegal to litter, chew gum or not flush the toilet. All true. In fact, I used a washroom in a local upscale mall which had self-flushing toilets, but still, when I came out of the stall (there were about 10 stalls) a washroom attendant rushed in to check and make sure everything was copasetic. I stood at the sink sweating bullets that maybe I’d be busted for a wayward slip of toilet paper or an inefficient flush. Luckily, I passed.
Anyway, we ate lunch at an unbelievably packed food court in one of the dozens of upscale malls (people here, as in all of Asia, are big on mall shopping). The people are so polite that they save their place for a table (while they go get their food) by placing tiny packets of Kleenex at the spot. The weird thing is no one disturbs the little tissue packets. Everyone plays along. I guess maybe that’s my word for Singapore is CONFORMITY.
This word was underscored by our afternoon adventure. We spent two hours on the metro (subway and rapid transit) going completely around the small island country. At the outer reaches of the journey we were the only Western faces in the crowd. We got some looks, especially when the PA system advised riders to report “Any suspicious-looking riders.” They even play a video showing a nefarious-looking guy leaving a backpack on the train and other passengers confronting him about it. I can’t even imagine what they’d do to a terrorist here since they’ll flog you 20 lashes for chewing gum or spitting.
The ride was amazing and gave us a quick glimpse into life in Singapore. For starters, we went over 40 miles and didn’t see even one single-family dwelling. Not one. There are literally thousands of high-rise apartment (condo) buildings, but not we didn’t lay eyes on even one house. I’m sure the President and some other high-ranking and wealthy people live in houses, but it’s certain that at least 90% of the population lives in some type of high rise. They are nice high-rises, though. Well maintained, with lots of windows and parking. As a contrast to this glut of high-rises is the amount of green space. Tons of it. Every high-rise compound (and the high-rises tend to be in groups of a dozen to 50 or more) is surrounded by acres and acres of trees, lawns, sports complexes and so on. The oddity is the conformity. Every stop along the train (and we went about 30 stops) looked pretty much the same: a bunch of residential high-rises, a few acres of trees, a sports complex and wide lawns. There are some three to four million people living on this tiny island in a kind of lock-step life of work hard, live in a high-rise, go to the park on your days off and don’t break the law. Works for them.
I must say one thing about all the no-no’s they have here: they make sense. You can’t cram this many people in a small area and expect it to work without some pretty stiff agreements. You want clean streets and subways? Make it illegal to litter or eat in public, and enforce it with a vengeance. You want 13% growth in a single quarter? Make it a cultural norm to work your ass off and invest in your country. You want a crime-free city? Inflict the death penalty on drug smugglers. You want to offer free medical care for your citizens? Make a healthy lifestyle the law. No smoking in public, and sports complexes are everywhere, along with green spaces and nearly free public transport (to keep the number of cars to a minimum and reduce pollution).
Yep, this isn’t paradise—it’s got way too many people. But it’s one way to deal with limited resources. And, from an outsider’s viewpoint, it seems to work.
Oh, and one more thing: On this tax day in America, it’s amusing to note the locals pay no taxes in Singapore. That’s one more good reason to just shut up and flush the toilet.